I hate having to write this, but it needs to be said. The beginning of the school year is typically followed by news of violence somewhere. It’s ugly, heartbreaking and frightening. So, when the time comes, maybe this will help.
Imagine being a young child and watching blow-by-blow accounts of tragedies on the living room television. As adults, we understand that breaking news is shown multiple times on multiple stations.
Youngsters, however, can take things very literally. In their minds, each new report can carry the unintended suggestion that tragedy, such as 9/11 or the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School, has struck again and again.
Many parents don’t realize their children are watching and absorbing disturbing scenes without the cognitive development needed to understand that the events are not being repeated. The cycle of young children experiencing trauma, returning quickly to play, trauma and play again is typical in kids as they try to make sense of what they see or experience.
During a chat with my friend Jane Bissler, a practicing clinical counselor and clinical director at Kent’s Counseling for Wellness and president of the international Association for Death Education and Counseling, she told me about the alarming number of children coming into her office for anxiety issues.
“Since 9/11 and followed by the school and theater shootings, the anxiety of children has been on the rise,” said Jane. “Children are afraid to be away from their parents, attend gatherings and go to movies. What they hear on television, either through fictional programs or overhearing the news, seems very real to them.”
We decided to write a children’s picture book, Hoover and Honeybunch Find Comfort in a Sometimes Scary World. It’s designed to help parents, teachers and caregivers explain to the very young with words, humor and art that there’s no need to be frightened.
Of course, we can’t tell children with absolute certainty that the things they overhear on the news will never happen in this community. But we can say something like, “Mommy and Daddy watch you when you are at home and the teachers take care of you at school.
“Bad things sometimes happen, but what you saw on television didn’t happen to you. And there are far more good people in the world than bad.”
After that, lighten up the conversation. Make certain the television is off and suggest that the kids go outside to play or do something indoors to take their minds off the news.
I pray that someday I can write about the extraordinary school year in our nation in which no children were hurt or killed during an act of violence. That bullying, which has been around since the beginning of time, has been eradicated in schools.
Like so many of you, I am unable to adequately express my appreciation for the teachers and school administrators who instruct and care for our babies.
Educators are dear to me. My sister, Carolyn Vogenitz, is a retired principal and each of my three siblings and I have a child who is a teacher. My son, Alex, a science instructor at Stow-Munroe Falls High School, is ecstatic about his job. I’ve listened proudly as he chats about what he is teaching in his classroom.
But my stomach churned when he told me that Brogan Rafferty, the 17-year-old involved in the Craigslist slayings, was a student of his. The “what-ifs” kept me up at night, though it did little to shake my son.
Like his buddies who teach with him, Alex sounds like a proud papa when he talks about what his students have accomplished — and is thrilled that he has the privilege to teach them.
Truth is, an overwhelming number of America’s schools are safe. And the chance of something unthinkable happening is hugely unlikely.
Thank God for that.
Kim Hone-McMahan can be reached at 330-996-3742 or kmcmahan@thebeaconjournal.com. Find her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/kim.honemcmahan.