DEAR ABBY: My mother and I were close growing up. However, when I was in college she abandoned the family (my siblings were in high school and elementary school) for her much younger boyfriend.
Since then, our relationship has been strained, particularly since I learned she used to tell her then-husband she was visiting me when she was carrying on her affair. After that, I learned about additional lies she had told me.
I’m married now and have two young children. Until a year ago we lived in the same city. Mom never came around much because she was preoccupied with finding new boyfriends to support her. She has since moved out of state and stalks me on Facebook, harassing me to get Skype so she can talk to my children.
I can’t tell her that I don’t want much to do with her for fear it will send her into an “episode” and I don’t want my kids caught in the crossfire. — Frustrated Daughter
Dear Daughter: Frankly, you’ll save yourself a lot of grief if you just tell your mother you’re not getting Skype and the reason why, and let her have her “episode.” As a parent, you have every right to insulate your children from anyone you feel might be a negative influence.
DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend for more than a year and we are considering marriage. I am 23 and have never been dissatisfied with the way I look. The other day he told my friend that when we get married, he would pay for a boob job for me. I’m offended. Do you think this speaks to his character? — Not Going Under in Louisiana
Dear Not Going Under: No, I think it speaks to the degree he assumes he can control or make choices for you. I don’t blame you for being offended.
Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.